ANTHONY HAYES

Another Friday night completely alone in my room while everyone else is out partying. Typical.

I tried talking to a guy in my class today about visual kei and he literally looked at me like I was an alien. 3D guys are so shallow. All they care about are normie girls who paint their faces with 10 pounds of makeup and listen to garbage radio music.

Why is it so hard to find someone who actually appreciates real culture? I’m so done with people my age.

( -_ -; )

I swear society is completely broken.

If you're a genuine, deep person who actually feels things deeply, nobody wants you. But if you're fake and popular, everyone bows down to you. The dating market is literally rigged against people like me.

I'd literally treat a guy like a KING. I’d make him bento boxes, I’d watch his favorite shows, I’d be totally loyal. But no, guys only want stacy-tier girls who will cheat on them in two weeks. Whatever. I’ll just stick to my 2D husbando collection. At least anime characters don't betray you.

Rewatching Death Note for the 5th time. Light Yagami is literally perfection.

People call him a villain but honestly??? He had a vision. He was fixing a broken world. Why is it that whenever a dark, mysterious, brilliant guy tries to make his own rules, society labels him a monster? I love morally grey characters so much. Normal guys are so boring compared to him.

💗 Light-kun forever 💗

Thanksgiving was a nightmare. My family kept asking me if I have a boyfriend yet or if I'm applying for jobs. "Scarlett, you're 18, you need to go outside." "Scarlett, stop staying up until 4 AM."

EXCUSE ME for not wanting to conform to your boring NPC life??? I don't want a 9-to-5 wage-slave job and a generic husband. I want something cinematic. I want a dark, intense romance that normal people couldn't even comprehend.

Went to the mall to buy new gel pens and I saw a group of people from high school. I literally hid behind a clothing rack so they wouldn't see me. They were all laughing and holding hands and I just felt... disgust? Jealousy? I don't even know.

The world wasn't built for girls like me. I'm too sensitive. I understand the dark side of life while everyone else is walking around like mind-controlled sheep.

Couldn't sleep so I started reading old forum threads about unsolved mysteries and true crime.

Honestly, real life crime stories are so much more interesting than anime sometimes. The world is full of these crazy, hidden stories that normal normies just ignore because they're too scared to look at the dark stuff. I'm not scared though.

Was looking through old news archives from the early 2000s for a research hole and I found a headline about a local case from back then.

A guy vanished into thin air after something happened. No body, no trail, nothing. The media made him sound like a total demon, but looking at his mugshot... I don't know. He looks so lonely. Like nobody ever actually tried to understand him.

I haven't stopped thinking about that case from last week.

His name is Anthony Hayes. I spent all night saving articles about him to my desktop folder. Everyone in the reports called him dangerous and unhinged, but they always say that about misunderstood men who don't fit into society's neat little boxes.

He was so handsome too. Like... genuinely looked like a live-action antihero.

(; ω ; ) ♡

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

New Year's Eve and I'm sitting in the dark with my laptop screen lit up, looking at scanned newspaper clippings of Anthony. Outside I can hear fireworks and people screaming and drinking. Normal people doing normal boring things.

I don't care about 2013. I only care about finding out what happened to him.

I made a post on a true crime message board asking if anyone remembered Anthony Hayes and everyone immediately dogpiled me. "He's a criminal," "Why are you interested in him," "Show respect."

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. You guys don't know him! You just read headlines written by corporate news stations! You don't see his soul like I do. They deleted my thread. Typical censors protecting the normie hivemind.

I created a hidden subfolder on my hard drive called [AH_ARCHIVE].

I'm organizing everything chronologically: his employment records, police notices, old photos from public archives. It's crazy how much you can find if you actually know how to use search engines properly (unlike 99% of internet casuals).

He's becoming my ultimate project.

Society treats anyone who commits a desperate act like they were born evil. But what if society pushed them to it? What if he was just completely isolated and driven to the edge?

I get it. I genuinely do. If I was pushed far enough by all the fake people around me, who knows what I'd do? Anthony isn't a monster. He's just someone who refused to play by the rules of a corrupt system.

HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.

I'm literally shaking right now. Deep-web digging paid off. I found an old abandoned BIGBLOGSPACE page made by his daughter, Priyah.

She left so much personal stuff on there before she abandoned it years ago. Photos, scans of notes, personal memories... it's like finding a goldmine. I'm downloading the whole directory right now before it gets taken down.

Spent all day going through Priyah's old blog entries.

It makes me so mad. She had access to his actual belongings and she just treats it like a sad curse. She's so ungrateful. If I had a connection to someone as legendary as Anthony, I’d treasure every single piece of paper he ever touched.

She doesn't understand him at all. Only I do.

Some guy at the library tried to talk to me today because he saw me reading a book on forensics. He was wearing an ugly hoodie, smelled like Axe body spray, and made some stupid joke. I literally just stared at him until he walked away in embarrassment LOL.

Compare him to Anthony: mysterious, quiet, intense, strong features, doesn't waste words on meaningless small talk. Modern guys are so weak and pathetic.

Printed out high-res versions of the best photo of Anthony and put it in a pink glitter frame next to my anime figures on my desk.

My mom came into my room to bring laundry and asked who "that nice looking young man" was in the frame. I almost choked laughing. I just told her he's a singer from a J-rock band I like. If she only knew... x3

I know people say he was dangerous, but I bet if he met me back then, he would have been different.

Dark men always soft-spot for girls who actually understand their pain. I would have been his safe place. We could have run away together and lived in an abandoned cabin in the woods away from the rest of the world. Just us two against everyone else.

♥ anime romance IRL ♥

Decided to completely scrap my old anime fanblog theme and rebrand this whole site around FINDING him.

I'm changing the header to include his name. I know people who visit my guestbook are going to cry and whine about it, but this is MY domain. I do what I want. Scarlett's world, Scarlett's rules.

The police gave up looking for him years ago because they're incompetent, but I won't give up. The internet is way bigger now than it was back when he disappeared.

If he's alive, he's somewhere out there under a fake name, living alone, hiding from a world that doesn't deserve him. Anthony, if you're reading this somehow... I'm searching for you.

Theme update finished!! Pink, sparkles, and my favorite man in the world.

To all my new followers: yes, this site is dedicated to Anthony Hayes. If you're here to lecture me about ethics or legal stuff, hit the [X] button on your browser. I don't care about your mainstream morality.

Stay tuned... I have so many pictures and clippings to share with you guys!

💗 xoxo Scarlett 💗

GUYS.

GUYS GUYS GUYS.

I FOUND ANOTHER PICTURE OF HIM.

I'M NOT OKAY.

Why is he sooooo handsome???

Like seriously.

LOOK AT HIS FACE.

I know everyone is gonna say "he's a murderer!!!" and YES. I KNOW.

I've read everything.

But like...

can I just say he's REALLY pretty???

I'm only human. ;__;

💗 ANTHONY 💗 💗

I swear this is becoming a problem LOL.

I was supposed to be doing homework and instead I was reading old articles about Anthony for like THREE HOURS.

I know so much about him now.

Like... probably too much.

I know what year he worked there. I know where he lived. I know about the murder. I know about his disappearance.

And I know about Priyah.

Her old page is like a treasure chest omg.

She doesn't even realize how much stuff she left behind.

Every time she mentions him I feel like I'm getting another little piece of him.

Is that weird??

Don't answer that.

Okay.

I know this is probably mean.

But I get SO jealous reading her page.

She has pictures of him.

She has his handwriting.

She has stories about him.

She even has things he gave her.

AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

Well.

Obviously he's her dad.

But she never actually met him.

She writes about him like he's this sad mysterious person she wishes she could have known.

And I'm sitting here like:

I'd give anything for that.

I'M SCREAMING.

Okay not literally.

But seriously.

I dreamed I met him.

And he was actually really nice???

We just talked.

He asked me why I'd been looking for him.

And I told him.

I told him that everybody thinks he's a monster and I don't think that's fair.

And he smiled.

LIKE THAT SMILE.

I woke up and actually felt sad.

This is so embarrassing.

(´；ω；`) ♡

Hear me out.

Mysterious guy?

Disappeared without a trace?

Secret past?

Everyone thinks he's evil?

Probably has a tragic reason for everything?

HELLO???

THIS IS AN ANIME.

Except he's real.

Which makes it better.

...probably.

Okay that sounded weird.

Whatever.

I still think he'd like me.

Before anyone comments:

YES.

I know he killed someone.

YES.

I know he's dangerous.

YES.

I know I'm being ridiculous.

But I don't think you understand.

I don't look at him and think "murderer."

I look at him and think...

Anthony.

Maybe that's stupid.

But that's how I feel.

I just wish people would stop telling me what I'm supposed to think about him.

Okay.

I'm serious this time.

I don't know where he is.

I don't know if he's still alive.

But I'm going to keep looking.

Maybe I'll never find him.

Maybe he really is gone.

But I can't just stop.

What if he's somewhere out there?

What if he's completely alone?

What if nobody remembers him anymore?

I do.

I'll remember him.

♥ forever ♥